26
I turned 26 on November 4th!
It was the night of YoungLife banquet, so the actual day was spent mostly with 16-year-olds, much like my birthday exactly one decade before. My dad did take me on a birthday bike ride at lunch, though, which was fun; and I celebrated this past Friday by sending 26 boulder problems with a bunch of friends and then eating Gus’s Fried Chicken after. It was a good day, to say the least.
I’m a mile-marker — the type of person who likes to pause and evaluate and get a birds’-eye-view whenever she can. Like, I live for New Year’s, because it feels like the one time of year when everyone thinks like I do all the time. Birthdays are like a more personal new year, though; and I’ve taken to giving myself part of that day every year to just reflect on where I’m at and where I’m headed.
A few years back I started making a list of things I’d learned in the past year — 24 things for 24, 25 for 25, and so on. Sometimes I share those lists. Sometimes I don’t. I wasn’t planning on it this year, but I decided to after all. I don’t think I’ll push it anywhere, though — just you OG email folks will see it, most likely, and I kind of like the thought of that anyway.
Here’s the list I made last Monday morning:
26 THINGS I LEARNED THIS YEAR:
Houston is home for now.
Going slow is okay.
Doing less is okay.
I am who I am, not what I do. (Still working on this, but I know it’s true.)
I like working with people more than I like working behind screens, even if the work isn’t “creative.”
To do pull-ups!
How to climb!
How to coach climbing!
To conflict. (UGH. But also, so important.)
To wean myself off coffee some. Ha. But seriously, this has been good for me.
That having conversations about Jesus and what I believe with people who don’t share those beliefs doesn’t necessarily scare them away.
Actually, I’ve learned how much I love building relationships and having those opportunities with people who don’t know Jesus. I never saw myself that way until this year.
Self-confidence — or maybe contentment — or maybe self-respect — in dating. Not sure how to phrase, but just in a very healthy way, I learned to be much less willing to settle.
How to start/run a business.
How to do self-employment taxes.
How to edit photos.
How to not take myself so seriously that I can’t be a beginner — to let myself be bad at stuff without being embarrassed.
How to dove hunt.
That high-waisted jeans are forever the move.
How to cook venison.
That I’ve been agreeing with the lie that I am unreliable since college (my last semester was a bit of a crash-and-burn situation on all things academic, and in order to put that fire out, I had to crash-and-burn work and a few relationships, too) despite having grown. Working through breaking those agreements with Jesus.
How to listen better.
That I can mentor college students now!
To evaluate my fear and manage risk better.
To love people who are different from me in a way that they like, not just according to my own preferences.
To just like myself more.
This list feels a little more vulnerable to write just because so many of these things are in process. I haven’t mastered anything on here I don’t think — it’s more or less things that were brought to my attention and I started making progress on. My list next year might be identical, just a few more steps down the road.
I’ll also say that I made a list of 26 things I was grateful for and 26 people who know and love me deeply — and I’ve never made two lists quicker. They filled up astonishingly fast, and I was in tears over just how good the year 25 has been to me. How much I love my life and the people in it, and how lucky I am.
Writing on this little corner of the internet has been so therapeutic for me over the last few years, and it was pretty amazing to think back to how far I’ve come and how much I’ve done and how much I’ve grown since then. Maybe that’s what makes me share things like this every now and then — it’s sort of embarrassing to have a record of your early twenties on the internet, but it’s also sort of great. Sort of freeing and fun to look back on and, hopefully, a bit of a relief for others out there making their way through.
Here’s to 26! May it be the best year yet.
